Ninety to nothing

Truth

My mind seriously goes into overdrive from the time I get out of bed (sometimes while I'm still in bed. Do you know what it's like to wake up at 3 am thinking about the appropriate way to administer a soap suds enema? Because I do) This is a typical train of thought for me in the morning:

"Oh look I have 20 minutes before I have to wake up. I'll roll back over."

(alarm goes off)

"When's the last time I took a shower? I can't remember"

"Do I have clean underwear?"

"Good grief I hope I don't have to backprime my IV lines too much"

"When do you go sterile during trach suction again?"

"Do I have time to get Starbucks before work?"

"Oh crap I forgot about my Essentials class again"

"What day is it? Isn't The Following on tonight?'

"Good lord I'll be devastated if my job isn't ok with my work schedule"

"How many days in a row is acceptable to wear your hair in a ponytail?"

"I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW TO PERFORM OSTOMY CARE"

"I wish I was like Samantha on Bewitched and could wiggle my nose and my house be clean. Maybe it'll work, I've never tried it"

*tries it*

"Damn"


And the list goes on...

I've got two finals and a check off this week and a paper due and a FINAL check off next week. In the final check off we'll get to choose out of a list of skills and have to perform at least 2 of them. And we won't know what we're doing until we get in there. So we have to practice them all. I've been practicing a lot and studying a lot and I'm always gripped my fear that it isn't enough.

And come May 1, it's just going to get worse. I'm in class 5 days a week and have SO much homework. Plus weekly clinicals.

I'm nervous because when I got this new job I thought I'd be able to work 3-7pm M-F. Well that's not the case this trimester since my Monday class goes until 4;15 and my clinicals MAY last past 3 (they're scheduled until 4;30 but the class I'm in now is scheduled until 5:30 and we NEVER stay near that long.) Granted I'll be at the same hospital but still...

I'm just so nervous about broaching the subject with them. I love this job! It's been my dream to work in this hospital and I could see myself staying there forever (obviously..hopefully...as a nurse). I'm going to lay low until after finals and then in about a month I'll bring it up to my manager. And the chips will fall where they may. Fingers and toes crossed, prayers sent up, candles lit!

Not to mention that tomorrow I had to call in so I could do my girlfriendly duty and take my boyfriend to the surgery center for a nerve block and then bring him home and look after him. At least I'll get lots of studying done, so that's something..

Speaking of studying, I better get back to it. I can't believe the trimester is almost over! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel..we're almost there!