In April 2011, I made the hardest and best decision of my life. I had a preventative bilateral mastectomy in order to manage my extremely high breast cancer risk. Now, follow me as I try to navigate nursing school..and well not much else because I'm so busy with that. But no matter how much else I can fit in, one thing is certain- life goes on!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Southern Chick

Here lately, I've come to realize how proud of my Southern heritage I am. Yes...the South, namely Memphis has problems. But what city doesn't? Yes, I feel like some people are still in the archaeic frame of mind. Yes, I hate that Catholics are looked upon with slightly less disgust than devil worshipers and people have wild ideas about the Catholic church and refuse to listen to how it ACTUALLY is. I grew up Baptist, and while I would never change anything about how I was raised, I was shocked and disheartened by the reactions of some people in the Baptist church *whom I previously respected and held in higher regard* when I decided to become Catholic. But I digress. My point? Yes there are things that I would change. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

I like my sweet tea and my hot sticky summers. I like my blues music and the fact that you never really meet a stranger in the South. I wouldn't dream of ending a conversation without a "Please" "Thank you" "Yes ma'am" or "Have a nice day" or some other pleasantry. I can "Bless your heart" and "Honey" people to death. (Although I will say adding "honey" or "sweetie" can sometimes be very passive aggressive...and I have that down to an art form too). I am almost painfully polite and patient, but as the saying goes if you here me say "Oh HELL no" you should probably get out of dodge.

Even though I was born in Memphis, I've spent my entire life in a suburb. I still feel connected to the city though. I love our touristy attractions (although, I will admit I've never been to Graceland). I could spend all of my time on "Millionaire's Row" (Adams Avenue) and the Woodruff Fontaine house where I docent. I love barbeque, hole in the wall restaurants, and basketball. I seriously love basketball. And Memphis is most definitely a basketball city.

I've always seen people degrading the South and I've never been too fond of it. I'm well aware of the fact that my politeness is sometimes mistaken for naivete. I know there are some people who view the entire region as dumb and uneducated. And while there are those people here, don't lump us all together. Because that kind of stupid stereotype really just makes YOU look like the dumb and uneducated one.

I guess this is really touching a nerve lately. There was an LA sports writer who spent an entire column completely belittling Memphis. And then we beat their basketball team by 21 points...who looks dumb now?

The game I just went to at the Fed Ex Forum really showed how the city can band together. News of the article got out pretty quickly and the fans were hot going into the game.  There were signs directed at the writer, chants of "Whoop that trick" erupted across the crowd (lyrics from a song from a movie set in Memphis). It was quite a sight to behold

And today officially (pretty much) marks the end of my break from school. Tomorrow we study for the dosage exam and start reading up on chapters for our classes. And the test/orientation is Friday. And then it begins.

I also have to talk to my work about how I will have to go to class until 4:15 on Mondays and clinical possibly until 4:30 on Wednesdays...and I was hired to work 3-7. Oh boy. Hopefully it'll go well because I LOVE this job. We'll see next week!


Thursday, April 18, 2013

A break...FINALLY

Well I made it through this trimester at school. Thank you baby Jesus. I managed to actually get an A out of one class (WOOHOO) and a C in the other. Honestly, that is the first A I've made in nursing school (crazy!!) since I'm really horrible at test taking. And the C..well I'm thankful for it. C means Continue! The fail rate for that class is so high Im just proud I made it out the first time around!

I'm already mentally gearing up for the summer trimester though. Starts May 3 with clinical orientation and then classes start the next Monday (I think.. I should probably check on that!) This class scares the bejesus out of me! Clinical every week, paperwork, tests, papers the list goes on ad on. Classes 5 days a week (Lord Jesus help me). I'm still scheduled to work 3-7 M-F at my new job..however unless a miracle happens (again baby Jesus we need you!) Ill have to tell them I'm in class until 4:15 once a week. I'm really hoping and praying that I can switch if a spot opens up. Because THAT is a conversation I'm not looking forward to having as I really love this job and don't want to jeopardize it. We will see!

Anyways my plans for the break are sleep, clean, sleep. work, sleep, sleep, sleep. I know there will be some all nighters pulled this summer and I'm so not looking forward to that.I NEED MY SLEEP! I've really never been able to function on no sleep so I'm pretty scared about it.

All that being said, I realized I've gained a total of 10 pounds since January. Ouch. Stress eating anyone? So on the break I'm also trying to concentrate on dropping some weight. Of course I can't really afford my Weight Watchers membership until my financial aid money comes in in a month so I'm on my own. We'll see how that goes :)

Monday, April 1, 2013

Ninety to nothing

Truth

My mind seriously goes into overdrive from the time I get out of bed (sometimes while I'm still in bed. Do you know what it's like to wake up at 3 am thinking about the appropriate way to administer a soap suds enema? Because I do) This is a typical train of thought for me in the morning:

"Oh look I have 20 minutes before I have to wake up. I'll roll back over."

(alarm goes off)

"When's the last time I took a shower? I can't remember"

"Do I have clean underwear?"

"Good grief I hope I don't have to backprime my IV lines too much"

"When do you go sterile during trach suction again?"

"Do I have time to get Starbucks before work?"

"Oh crap I forgot about my Essentials class again"

"What day is it? Isn't The Following on tonight?'

"Good lord I'll be devastated if my job isn't ok with my work schedule"

"How many days in a row is acceptable to wear your hair in a ponytail?"

"I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW TO PERFORM OSTOMY CARE"

"I wish I was like Samantha on Bewitched and could wiggle my nose and my house be clean. Maybe it'll work, I've never tried it"

*tries it*

"Damn"


And the list goes on...

I've got two finals and a check off this week and a paper due and a FINAL check off next week. In the final check off we'll get to choose out of a list of skills and have to perform at least 2 of them. And we won't know what we're doing until we get in there. So we have to practice them all. I've been practicing a lot and studying a lot and I'm always gripped my fear that it isn't enough.

And come May 1, it's just going to get worse. I'm in class 5 days a week and have SO much homework. Plus weekly clinicals.

I'm nervous because when I got this new job I thought I'd be able to work 3-7pm M-F. Well that's not the case this trimester since my Monday class goes until 4;15 and my clinicals MAY last past 3 (they're scheduled until 4;30 but the class I'm in now is scheduled until 5:30 and we NEVER stay near that long.) Granted I'll be at the same hospital but still...

I'm just so nervous about broaching the subject with them. I love this job! It's been my dream to work in this hospital and I could see myself staying there forever (obviously..hopefully...as a nurse). I'm going to lay low until after finals and then in about a month I'll bring it up to my manager. And the chips will fall where they may. Fingers and toes crossed, prayers sent up, candles lit!

Not to mention that tomorrow I had to call in so I could do my girlfriendly duty and take my boyfriend to the surgery center for a nerve block and then bring him home and look after him. At least I'll get lots of studying done, so that's something..

Speaking of studying, I better get back to it. I can't believe the trimester is almost over! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel..we're almost there!