So if anyone is actually keeping up with this blog (unlike tatatothegirls, I started this one purely for my own benefit), you're probably wondering why I haven't posted in awhile.
Well, I'll 'splain.
I've been busier than a one armed paper hanger.
Did you catch that? I Love Lucy reference AND Steel Magnolias reference. BAM. I'm that good.
Ok, no really. School has been crazy! I've been officially in clinical at the hospital twice. We pre-assess the day before clinical, in which we talk to the patient, assess them and gather data out of their chart. By that I mean, labs, meds, diagnostic tests, admitting diagnosis, diet, activity level, etc,etc. Then we come home, write patho on said diagnosis, fill out a 13 page "data sheet" in which we intrepret everything and then be in the hospital before 7 am. Needless to say I'm exhausted!!!!! Everyone EVERYONE says "it gets easier" Well... we'll see.
Then of course there's my actual schoolwork. I feel like I'm barely treading water, drowning in a sea of NCLEX and Hesi books. When I graduate I swear I'm making a bonfire with those.
I seriously feel like I'm going nuts. I try to take breaks for myself but I'm always thinking about school. NO matter what! I cannot wait to be done. This week was the lowest point I've ever been at. I seriously wanted to quit. But I didn't... However most everyone that's actually been through nursing school knows exactly how I feel. Then...there's those that don't
This past week I had a scuffle (that's putting it mildly) with a "friend." The "friend" who actually was co-coordinating the Memphis FORCE group with me that I started. So I am no longer a part of Memphis FORCE. It makes me sad...however I can't put the type of time needed into the group. When I started the group my goal was for no one to have to go through HBOC alone that was in the Memphis area. Now, there's a group. Even though I'm not a part of it anymore, I'm still proud of what was accomplished and that no one has to feel alone again.
Now I really don't want to get into details about this scuffle. Except...I'm not sure the "friend" was a "friend" to begin with. To me, a friendship is a mutual sharing of information. A mutual respect..a relationship. I started to get that I wasn't in a true friendship when I realized that she knew literally nothing about me. We'd known each other for a year or so and she literally knew nothing. And she never asked. In fact, before I got my new job, she didn't even know where I worked. I'm not sure if she knew I was adopted either. Or really anything about me. So while I'm a little sad over how things ended, I know it was for the best. I couldn't fit into the mold of what she wanted in a friend (a sheep basically...I mean the girl won't talk to people who disagree with her over the most trivial things.) so it was necessary that we part ways. Sad, but for the greater good I think.
I've put in an order at Amazon for all of these nursing school self help books. Not that I'll actually have time to READ them...but anything will be helpful. I feel like I'm hanging on to a cliff by my fingertips and barely holding on....
According to my counter it's 554 days until graduation. We'll see if I can hang on!
Sometimes you just have to keep rolling, no matter what seems to block your path. Just being tired makes everything worse so rest up if you get the chance.God goes everywhere with you, when you feel like you can't do the next thing ask him to do it with you. Maybe that will help. Sometimes you are just barely hanging on, but as the saying goes, this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteEnough cliche's for you? Don't give up sweetie, one day you will be the one telling a nursing student that they can make it through, and you'll know exactly how they are feeling so it will mean something.